cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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