i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
