If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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