Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
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