Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
