That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
