I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize