okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
