what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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