Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
