I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm having to shit out rocks
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
