i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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