I wannas sexs uuuuu
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
