Even the bartender felt bad for me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize