please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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