we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
