Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
