I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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