You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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