He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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