i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
