Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
