I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
