we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
