don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
