I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize