I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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