I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
