it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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