dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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