still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
