Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
