I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
