I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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