If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
