NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She bit a glass in half.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
