Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
