is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
