I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
