She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
