I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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