That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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