I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
