youre lurking in front of me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
