the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
