Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
