Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
