it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
