Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
