he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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