Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
