sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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