So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize