If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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