My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Found the puke drawer
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
