I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
