pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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