Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
