I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
