my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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