hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize
