This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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