I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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